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Men suck at eating pussy.
Not because they don’t like it but because they don’t now how to.
You have to learn it.
Giving good head is the key to just about everything in life
(including getting good head later on),
so it’s time we broke it down. Like this.
Break it down! BE DOWN
ღ Don’t go down unless you’re down. ღ
A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy.
If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile.
Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips.
Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing
is all that’s needed to get the Princess dripping.
Once you’re sure the she is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger.
There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure
she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.
Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share
Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside.
This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor.
Try to remember that 78% of a woman’s pleasure is about yearning.
Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.
ღ SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, Princess
Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down.
Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit.
Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation.
Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head
like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea.
It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head
and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood.
Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down.
Don’t get carried away with those lovely tits, though.
That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off.
Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs.
A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee
and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop.
Nibble your way right up to the edge of her sweet pussy, then skip across it and head for the other knee.
Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot.
When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that lovely crevice next to the lips.
Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt. hihi
By now she should be dying for you to make your move.
If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs.
Stretch this phase out until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.
Extra trick: Hover over the pussy for about five seconds before the first lick.
If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad.
Of course, we all knows that sweet thing smells and taste sweeter than honey.
Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever.
If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.
ღ THE GRAND ENTRANCE (The Princess Gate)
Do your first lick super slow.
It’s good to groan and moan too.
It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her sweet pussy.
Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur area.
Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick).
This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has.
If it’s real sensitive she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re probably in for an lovely smooth ride.
If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits
and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis. Ha ha just do it!!!
ღ ROCK THE PRINCESS BOAT
Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag.
If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit.
Figure out how much She likes without making her uncomfortable.
After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult.
He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find her,
all the pressure can pop him over to the side.
All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life.
Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes.
When you push down on the area she’s the only one that can’t be squished.
Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting her alone.
Once you find her, give her a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you.
Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips.
ღ IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE
After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started.
There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don’t.
The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.
Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much.
All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions.
This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can.
All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on.
ღ CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER
These are the most fun because you can be creative.
Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner.
Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth.
Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth.
Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has
no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles,
rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag.
If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks.
The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around
the clit and some tongue fucking. As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking.
Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides.
When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative.
You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.
To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue
like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off,
killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale.
Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm.
Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off.
If she’s multi-orgasmic you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times.
If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.
ღ CLITS THAT DON’T
Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around.
These are the peacefull ones that need to be treated with gentle care.
Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple.
If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while.
A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue.
You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic.
If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on.
On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for,
so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.
ღ THE CONCLUSION
Once you’re done (totally finished) she’s going to want you out of there pronto
because the whole area is sensitive.
Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick,
soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t
move it or anything because that can actually hurt her.
Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds.
Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate.
You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from
the quarters of Prince Muhammad Pascal Mathijssen Saddat
to the cockpit of an F-15, and take that princess to the sky.
ღ Fly Princess Flyღ
Have fun with this verry sweet thing don't be afraid !!!
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